Kids, Kites and the Kama Sutra

This years first 80 degree weather graced a bright and sunny Sunday Morning. New Yorkers of all ages took to the great outdoors in shorts and brightly colored Polo's to enjoy this beautiful day. Bikes, skates and all manner of balls were dusted and brought to the many public parks.

Sure you westerners may say 'but what about the beaches' and the southerners may scoff at what we call parks, but I love my NY and I love Central Park. Joining the flurry of the penned up and the wintered out I and a few of my fellow friends took to the grassy fields of Sheepshead Meadow, one of the larger Central Park Lawns.


It was a undulating sea of people. Balls of all shapes and sizes flying through the air. Young alpha males strutting their tail feathers, making unnecessarily complicated catches while flipping in he air over trees and all with their shirts off. Feats of strength and exercise were displayed by the single young bucks in hopes of catching that young females eye. The young ladies daintily outstretched on their paisley blankets showing just enough leg to make sure the fellars keep trying.Fathers and sons kicking the soccer ball around. Neurotic Manhattanite mothers looking disapprovingly as their future anorexic daughters lick ice cream.


Amongst many of the springtime activities two particular ones caught my eye. In the midst of the many couples in love one particular one stood out. My drunken beach bound friends used to jokingly ask me, what better then sex on the beach? Truthfully I have never had an answer but after this Sunday the answer has become abundantly obvious. The only thing better then sex on the beach is sex in the park. Yes bewildered ladies and gents everywhere. This particular couple was so much in love that they could not bear to keep their love a bedroom secret any longer. Covered in a thin green sheet, they gyrated to their own little tune, oblivious to all the park visitors, myself included taking picture.
You may think what that how can it get any better or more absurd then this. Well not a few feet from our fornicating couple was another couple practicing chapter 4 page 36 from the Kama Sutra- The Screwing Crane. Young sir lay on his back his feet spread wide open while holding up his young lady friend by her belly as he repeatedly dipped her head into his naughty bits. Not only were they raptly enjoying what they angaged quite the fan base. The Kama Sutrathon became a spectator sports with cheers, jeers and requests for different positions. I personally just got tired watching them.


So what is the moral of this story you may ask? We New Yorkers may not have the fields, meadows, beaches or amber waves of grain, but hey who wants sand in your crotch anyway, grass doesn't stick quite so deep.


Happy spring days!