Hailing from NY where a 10-block walk is not a matter of much intrigue let alone blog worthy. Romping the dangerous streets of modern suburbia turned out to be an entirely different adventure. For one I believe I crossed at least 3 to 4 different borders. As I waited by a light, a man across the street coughed and sneezed. And I had to wonder whether this gentleman in Yorkville(burb#2) just sprayed me with aerosolized Swine Flu, even though I was all the way across the street in Westmont(my humble abode/burb#1).
As I was making my trek into Downers Grove (burb#3) I was approached by a car. A sporty yellow convertible pulled up close and slowed to match my 3mph walk. I boldly strode on, ignoring the motioning gentleman that I was able to see out of my one good peripheral vision eye. I quickened my pace and he surged to match my now 4.2mph quickstep. He rolled his window down. I turned around and was about to shout ‘Mr. I don’t want any candy, I already have a Twix in my pocket and my daddy is Arnold Schwarzenegger’. Then I realized that I wasn’t seven and this gentleman was not after my youth and innocence. So the beginnings of my Misteeeer screech turned into a ‘may I help you’.
As it turned out he wanted to help me. He though I was lost. I quickly dispelled him of that notion.
“I am exploring” I said.
“Really…on foot?” He questioned.
“Why yes I am from NY, I enjoy walking, “ I replied.
“Well okay…. enjoy your exploration, Franz Ferdinand” he replied wryly.
“Aah sir, I assuming you mean to say Ferdinand Magellan the explorer and not the mediocre Scottish rock band” I corrected him.
He sped off. Lesson #1 strangers don’t like being corrected on their 13th century explorers. I walked on. I was stopped three additional times and asked if I needed help or if I was lost. The last one was a 2008 Bentley. I actually considered feigning distress to this reasonably handsome gentleman in his unreasonably expensive car. But then I told myself ‘Marina why settle for last years model car and complimentary trust fund baby. Hold out I’m sure a 2009 Bentley will cruise by any time.’ Lesson #2, know when to settle.
Finally I reached my destination…the famous Oak Park, home of 8700 inhabitants and the famous lawn chair incident. I’m not exactly sure what grand revelation I was expecting at the end of this yellow brick road, but it wasn’t there. Hark! No angels sang for me not even a squawking pigeon. Instead I saw the exact same cookie cutter layout as I had passed in the last 3 suburbs. Walgreens, Dunkins and generic overpriced Market to my right. To my left Jewel Osco (supermarket), Hobby Lobby, Home Depot and Wal-Mart complete with a Starbucks and a distinctly not NY pizza place claiming to sell NY pizza. Straight ahead were dealerships as far as the eye can see. And behind me the exact same township replica. But nowhere in site was there another human being.
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